I was your concubine, and then your madonna...

In the 3 years and 46 blogs I have posted, I have been exposed to all sorts idiotic pick up lines, propositions and creepy messages. Apparently now, the collective dating IQ has dropped to the point where punctuation is not needed, correct grammar is scoffed at and any sort of creativity is replaced with a "Hump or Death" mentality. Honestly... reading the messages I get is very rarely fun anymore. In fact, as a general rule, they make me want to slam my head repeatedly into the closest flat surface.

b**********z
5/15/2013 2:26:19 PM
Show me how to do those tricks (*swoon* that is SUCH a panty-dropper opening line)

Hooli-Gin
5/15/2013 4:01:04 PM
www.Crossfit.com and find an affiliate. They teach you all of it.

b**********z
5/15/2013 4:02:00 PM
Lol. Gee thanks (I'm sorry, what the HELL did you expect? Me to jump up with my trusty can of Bacon PaleoKrunch bars, wave them around like I am training a dog... come to think of it the dog may have a higher IQ... and teach you to doCrossfit gymnastics?!?)

And then I get to have exchanges like the one that follows. Please keep in mind, I do know the Crossfitter who sent me these messages. I met him on Plenty of Freaks a couple months ago and he is now part of my "real life". The messages make me giggle because they sprang out of me complaining about some of the STUPID messages I get. The most entertaining part to me was he managed to sarcastically depict some of the douche baggery I deal with which is so awesome...

T******t
6/17/2013 9:53:21 PM
Hey baby.. what are you up to? Wanna chat?

Hooli-Gin
6/17/2013 9:55:47 PM
Sure! ;-) text me.

T******t
6/17/2013 9:56:22 PM
Little forward aren't you? I don't even know your name

Hooli-Gin
6/17/2013 9:57:06 PM
That Crossfit chick works.

T******t
6/17/2013 10:23:52 PM
The one I can't carry?

Hooli-Gin
6/17/2013 10:26:34 PM
That's just cause you are scrawny or some shit.

T******t
6/17/2013 10:28:23 PM
Yeah something like that. Then again I can deadlift 150!!!!! What now mutha fuckaa!

Hooli-Gin
6/17/2013 10:33:20 PM
Like omg! That is so amazing. You are my hero! Girls shouldn't lift heavy or we can have our lady bits fall out.

T******t
6/17/2013 10:44:11 PM
I read that somewhete before. You better be really careful.

Hooli-Gin
6/17/2013 10:46:43 PM
I'm thinking of switching to being a vegan and just gently walking on a treadmill. Its so much better for me.

T******t
6/17/2013 10:48:41 PM
Negative ghost rider. I am not at the top of the food chain to eat lettuce

Hooli-Gin
6/17/2013 10:49:37 PM
I was wondering how long it would take one of us to break "jackass".

T******t
6/17/2013 10:50:08 PM
To break?

Hooli-Gin
6/17/2013 10:53:58 PM
Lol. Yes... To revert to normal Crossfitter.