About Me

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I'm just a old school metalhead, punk rock chick who is trying to stay sane in the World (perhaps alternate universe) of Internet Dating. Unfortunately, the staying sane is not working very well. I tend to be brutally honest, snarky, and I immediately assume what people tell me is a lie. I am SUPER ADHD so I tend to have this endless stream of consciousness thing going. Oh... And I drink like a fish and curse like a sailor (I make my mother SO proud).

Thursday, July 29, 2010

your soul is toxic, you ain't no friend of mine

I must admit, at this point, I am mostly on PoF for this blog. 95% of the people on that site are a bunch of pretentious douche bags. That site is like combining the assholes you get in Seaside Heights, the Wildwoods & Great Adventure during the summer into one GIANT electronic clusterfuck. The collective IQ is somewhere between a rock and Forest Gump’s and most of the people on there think they are hot shit (in reality they are just stupid, ugly and ignorant). If I wanted someone like that, I'd date any of a number of Pro-Wrestlers who have propositioned me over the years. It has hit the point where now, when I get a message notification I cringe. This exchange, while MOSTLY grammatically correct (*happy dance*) gives a fairly good indication on why:

    From: 4*******s
    Subject: Hi Sent Date: 7/27/2010 12:54:32 PM

    I remember I was telemarketing once, and I got an answering machine for a pro-wrestling training camp (actually, they are called a wrestling SCHOOL but whatever). Needless to say, that number got passed around like joint at dead concert.
    Anyways, hi. I'm mike. How are you today?


    From: Hooli-Gin
    Subject: RE:Hi Sent Date: 7/27/2010 1:00:49 PM

    Hey Mike,

    I have had better days (I'm an office manager and got screamed at by a client for NO reason) but your description of the number getting passed around definitely just made me burst out laughing. How are you today?

    Melissa


    From: 4*******s
    Subject: RE:RE:Hi Sent Date: 7/27/2010 1:20:16 PM

    Thanks. I'm glad you liked it. I'm ok. My day has just begun though, so I can't really say whether it's a good or bad day yet, but I brightened your day after a bad phone call, so I think I'm off to a good start.

    You should be used to getting yelled at for no reason (EX-fucking-SCUSE ME?!? We have gotten 3 messages into it and you have the fucking balls to make a sweeping generalization about me?). That's all professional wrestlers do (Actually, we drink, smoke, do drugs and hurt one another. That’s it.) is yell at each other like it's personal, then take it in to the ring. (THIS is where we are REALLY starting to run into issues. It is MORE than fine for me to insult the wrestling business, since I have LIVED THROUGH IT! I paid my fucking dues in that business. But really, you know nothing about what we go through, or about the business so why don’t you shut the fuck up. All you are doing is pissing me off and making me regret that I replied to your message.)

    So what's with the name hooli-gin, besides being a pun on hooligan? Does it have anything to do with hula hoops and gin? Because if it does, we have some more things to talk about (Seriously asshat, lay off the pot or crack or WHATEVER you are smoking.).

    I'm curious about the modeling/ photography thing. Do you ever do fetish stuff? My thing is pantyhose (*sigh* I care WHY?!?). Hopefully that doesn't make you run for the hills (If you have to say something like that, then DON’T put it into the message). I'm guessing it won't (no, it won’t. But it also doesn’t make me all hot and wanting to tear your clothes off). If you ever want to do a pantyhose shoot, I could probably offer some great advice on poses, attire, etc (why don’t I just talk to any of a NUMBER of fetish photographers I know instead? THEY know what shoots well. You just want to get off).

    Also, really cool that you volunteer with animals.


    From: Hooli-Gin
    Subject: RE:RE:RE:Hi Sent Date: 7/27/2010 1:33:19 PM

    The being use to getting yelled at in wrestling is completely different. Among other things I haven't wrestled in almost 3 years. And 9 times out of 10 we weren't in the same place at the same time while shooting promos. And my friends weren't personally attacking me for stuff I had no control over.

    It's just a pun on my nickname which is Hooli (short for hooligan). I don't really even drink anymore so I should probably change it. lol.

    I do pin up stuff mostly, but I prefer to be behind the camera recently. I have started getting into shooting abandoned houses. The closest I will be getting anytime soon to a fetish shoot is the album cover I am doing for a friends band. And that is more of a horror movie shoot. I prefer to have rigid control over where my image is used and doing fetish stuff while being a control freak is useless.


    From: 4*******s
    Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:Hi Sent Date: 7/27/2010 1:47:37 PM

    Yeah, we all know wrestling is fake and you're all best of friends in the locker room and on their days off Sgt Slaughter is calling up the Iron Sheik and being like, "I just got a delightful new tea you simply must try." And the Sheik is all, "Sounds splendid, I'll pickup some truffles on the way." Sorry if that was a little old school, I haven't payed attention to wrestling in two and a half decades (That wasn’t “Old School” as you fucking termed it. That was a COMPLETE mockery of anything I had tried to explain to you and an insult to the 7 years of training and shit I went through. At this fucking point, just SHUT YOUR MOUTH and stop trying to sound cool by mouthing off about wrestling).

    I have some pin up stuff here. Not much though, just 4 pictures/ pages from some 1950's playboys. I got the pictures at a yard sale I stumbled across while delivering beer, when I was the beer guy.

    Hey, did the words "picture/ pages" make your mind flashback to the theme song from the old show with Bill Cosby? Mine did, and now the song is gonna be stuck in my head all day. (Not really. I don’t remember that show, and at this point, I think you are fucking retarded and I want to go back in time and ignore your initial message)

    What's the band you're doing a shoot for? The abandon houses thing sounds pretty cool. I'd like to see them. I understand what you mean about having no control over fetish pictures, I see a lot of picture stealing. Although it's kind of hott that you're a control freak (If you want a dominatrix, go fucking pay for one. Seriously, if I beat the shit out of you, you AREN’T going to enjoy it. Mostly likely you will be in ICU and I will be in jail for the rest of my life. I am a control freak over my images because I use to work for the Department of Defense and I hold a security clearance.).


    From: Hooli-Gin
    Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:Hi Sent Date: 7/27/2010 2:12:42 PM

    First of all, I wouldn't classify wrestling as fake. I live with severe and permanent nerve damage (that is slowly getting worse) on a daily basis because one single rudimentary move got messed up. Predetermined? Yes. Fake? No. Secondly, we are not all best friends. We have professional respect for one another since we have no choice and some of us are virtually family. You give up your entire life to initially train to wrestle and then nights and weekends to wrestle at shows. I have watched marriages dissolve and families implode because of the constant stress and effort to sustain a career.

    The band I am shooting for is a metal band called Pillow Suffocation. It is named after a threat I'd used on the lead singer about why he and I shouldn't date. And I am not THAT form of a control freak.


    From: 4*******s
    Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:Hi Sent Date: 7/27/2010 2:23:15 PM

    This isn't going well is it? (Congratulations Captain Obvious. You have insulted me enough that whatever MINISCULE desire I had to meet you on the off chance you might be cooler in person has evaporated into a large amount of contempt at your desire to inflate your ego by mocking a large part of my life.)


    From: Hooli-Gin
    Subject: RE:Hi Sent Date: 7/27/2010 2:29:57 PM

    It was the wrestling joke. I have been in excruciating pain for the past few days because I can't place full weight on my foot because I fractured my neck while wrestling. I have lost most of the feeling from my big toe to my ankle on the inside arch of my foot.

    When I am in pain I lose my sense of humor. And I have no sense of humor to begin with (at least when it comes to wrestling).


    From: 4*******s
    Subject: RE:RE:Hi Sent Date: 7/27/2010 2:52:24 PM

    Well, it's not like I knew you were in pain. Not really sure how you can't have a somewhat of a sense of humor when it comes to wrestling (*rolls eyes*), I mean, the way those people dress and act, and the little names they come up with for themselves (yeah asshole, it’s called a gimmick. It’s what we get paid to do). Let's not forget, Lou Albino stuck rubber bands to his face. C'mon, that's just silly. I'm not trying to imply that it doesn't take strength, skill and a sh*tton of practice (actually fucktard… yes, that’s EXACTLY what you DID imply). What I meant by fake was, if the moves aren't done properly, or if you pulled one of those moves in a street fight, you'd probably kill or paralyze somebody (I know. I live with that on a DAILY basis). Or when they punch, they're not punching at full strength (some of us come pretty damn close to punching at full strength. It’s called stiffing someone and I am an expert at it.), hence the foot stomping. And then there's the blood, which is most often fake blood capsules (Actually… This goes to show how little you know. It is usually REAL blood. With a REAL RAZOR BLADE. And they they get stitched up or glued together at the end.). That's what I mean by fake. If I'm wrong, I apologize. I haven't watched wrestling since the early 80's (Perhaps, you should have ASKED ME ABOUT IT THEN instead of TELLING me how shit was done!).

    I remember watching an interview with Vince McMahon once. After Ted Turner bought his wrestling league, he called Vince and said, "guess what, I'm in the wrastling (rassling if you want to be a fucking MARK!) business now." To which Vince replied, I don't know anything about wrestling, I'm in the entertainment business (*sarcastic applause* Really???? Really??? Did you REALLY just throw a line out at me from “The Unreal History of Pro Wrestling?” I am WELL aware of what McMahon said. I know people who work for him) . I remember that because I liked Vince's approach. Also, Vince McMahon's death, fake (OMFG?!? REALLY???? I thought the dude I saw in the ring getting the shit kicked out of him while channel surfing a couple weeks ago was an honest to god ZOMBIE!). Maybe Andy Reid should try that.

    It seems to me that if you were at all interested you would've come up with a question or two of your own (I would have if I didn’t feel like I was being NEEDLESSLY attacked and mocked, thereby needing to defend myself.). I appreciate you answering my questions and having a chat with me, but when you don't ask any questions yourself it tells me you don't care to know anything about me (I don’t care because you started showing your true colors.). Plus, it puts all of the pressure on me to make small talk. Like, I read these responses and think, I'm interested, but where do I go from here, what do I say next. (I’m really getting lectured on decorum by someone who has just spent the last how many emails INSULTING ME?!? Seriously… WHATEVER! Grow a set and realize that I am not going to act all interested in you when every message you sent was written in shades of DOUCHE BAG!)
I totally understand that I can be a really short tempered bitch. But at SOME POINT wouldn't it dawn on you, LONG before the whiny last message (like maybe the 3rd message?) that maybe, JUST MAYBE, I am not digging your fucking stupid comments about the wrestling business and that you need to try a different tactic?

At this point, after some of the messages I've received, and that my friends have received, I am going to just stay in my house in peace & quiet watching TV. I know I'll meet a Prince Charming some day, but unless he delivers pizza or Chinese food or works at the liquor store I doubt it will be any time soon. Oh, and BB has gone COMPLETELY AWOL. There is someone I just started talking to again, BUT that is for a completely different time.

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