And... we're back (again)

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!

And... we're back.

After a less than stellar run on reality tv and a myriad of liars and cheats (the one this weekend was my favorite because he pulled the wool over my eyes the best), I am back doing what I do best. Being a sarcastic asshole while dealing with the world of online dating.

Our first winner is brought to us by Plenty of Freaks...
p**********0 10/1/2015 4:05:56 PM
Hello

That_Redhead_Chick10/1/2015 4:06:16 PM
Hi. How are you?

p**********0 10/1/2015 4:06:56 PM
I'm good and u

That_Redhead_Chick10/1/2015 4:07:05 PM
Good.

p**********0 10/1/2015 4:07:42 PM
My name is tony and u

p**********0 10/1/2015 4:08:18 PM
My phone 2**-***-***9 (wwoooooooooooo there sparky... we are 6 messages in, and your damn profile is basically blank. Not to mention, it appears you have a 2nd grade reading level and that shit just won't jive with me)

That_Redhead_Chick10/1/2015 4:08:34 PM
Melissa.

p**********0 10/1/2015 4:09:38 PM
Nice name u now gorgeous (... *sigh*... What fucking language is this in? What are you trying to express... I don't read IDIOT!)

p**********0 10/1/2015 4:09:58 PM
U soo cute (Suddenly... my face needs to get INCREDIBLY friendly with my desk... repeatedly. But thanks for confirming your reading level.)

That_Redhead_Chick10/1/2015 4:10:31 PM
Lol. How does know my name make me more gorgeous? 

p**********0 10/1/2015 4:10:44 PM
U can text my number if u want be more easy (Fuck... I think I just pulled a muscle trying to figure out what this said)

p**********0 10/1/2015 4:11:24 PM
I say u gorgeous cute (Seriously?!? WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK DID VERBS AND EVEN BASIC GRAMMAR EVER DO TO YOU THAT YOU REFUSE TO USE THEM!?!?!?!?!?)

That_Redhead_Chick10/1/2015 4:11:27 PM
I don't give out my number easily. Less headache

p**********0 10/1/2015 4:12:00 PM
Lol (Ok... thanks for playing. We will find a consolation prize and mail it to you at our earliest convenience.)

I'm really not so sure I will survive this round of online dating. While the pool of candidates has gotten LARGER, the collective IQ apparently has dropped drastically. But it should make for good reading...